Lily Lulonut

I have a little ritual that I do once a month, during the night of the new moon.

I am a worshiper of Lilith, and the new moon is her night. It’s not always a big ritual, sometimes it can be simple. When I do go all out, you will find me surrounded by candles, sitting in front of her altar, magical tools all about. It’s a fun time.

The one thing that I do every month, regardless of the size of the ritual, is pull from my oracle deck. I have this cute oracle deck called the “Wild Woman Oracle.” It’s a cute deck with lots of bad-ass women in it. Created by Cheyenne Zarate.

It’s described on the back as “The essence of the Wild Woman Oracle is feminine, dark, witchy… like the Dark Feminine, which is… honest, direct and powerful.”

Every month I pull from it, and use the card that is pulled as guidance for the month ahead. A beacon of sorts, something that Lilith can use to guide me in the right direction.

This month, I pulled #21, The Morrigan (Sovereignty). It always seems like Lilith is 5 steps ahead of me, as this card already was connecting to a feeling I was having a few days before the new moon. She is very good at reading me.

The card means, “The Morrigan asks you to stand firmly in your sovereignty… She wants you to develop willpower, grit, integrity and self-respect: qualities that… are only born from overcoming struggle and strife.”

The part that hit me the most was the bit about self-respect, something I have had trouble with for as long as I have been alive. Even now after finding myself after so many years, learning to love myself and enjoy life, it’s hard for me to look in the mirror and see something to be desired. Whether by myself or someone else.

It’s funny how easy it is to wave someone off when they give me a compliment, or tell me I’m pretty or sexy. It’s so easy to say, ‘uh huh, sure’. I instead should be saying ‘thank you’, or ‘you know it’. I love myself so much more than I ever have in the past. I’m more comfortable in my own skin, to the point that I often find myself fully or mostly undressed in front of others, thanks to my Lady and the BDSM club. It’s crazy how easy it is for me to just drop trow, and not be too bothered by it.

I have come a long way in my journey, and I need to do better at acknowledging that. Letting myself accept who I have become, instead of worrying about every little thing.

I was already considering all this, already trying to accept myself as a bad-ass woman, and then this card landed on my lap. Almost like Lilith was saying, ‘yea, you’re a bad-ass, now stop denying it you dummy.’ lol. She has always been good at pushing me when I need it.

She saw that my mind was already beginning to focus on a new task, and she came in and cemented it in my mind. She read me and pushed me to think about this more than I likely would have otherwise. This is why I do this every new moon, why I pull a card from the deck. And so my monthly ritual came to an end, and I have my guidance for the next month. Ill spend it trying to accept myself more, see and accept what others see in me. Stop putting myself down, and start building myself up.

Thank you Lilith!